Reply to Do you think being a daddy’s girl helps or hurts a woman in relationships?

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Reply to "Do you think being a daddy’s girl helps or hurts a woman in relationships?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Since people are just inventing their own definitions of "daddy's girl" that mean totally different things, I'll answer without using the phrase.

I think it's important to teach all kids, including girls, that they are loved and they have intrinsic value as people. Beyond housing/feeding/clothing kids, I think this is one of the most important things you can do for a child, is make sure they know they are loved so that they develop a sense of self worth. And I think that self worth is probably the biggest guard against bad relationships of any kind, because it will help a person recognize when they are being treated poorly and also empower them to believe they can speak up or leave.

However, I think giving kids a sense that they are better and more important than other people, that they are special and deserving of special, deferential treatment, is really damaging. For them, and for everyone who will deal with them in the future (roommates, teachers, romantic partners, friends, colleagues, kids). Because (1) it's a lie, they are't actually special or better than other people, and (2) this is the seed of a dysfunctional or abusive relationship where this person feels they must be served by others but that they have no obligation to reciprocate. People like this make bad friends, bad partners, and (importantly!) bad parents. They lack perspective and self awareness and can easily become narcissists or worse. Even if someone like this succeeds in finding a spouse who will give them what they believe they "deserve", that relationship will be dysfunctional and potentially even abusive for their partner.

So regardless what you call it, I think the key is to love your kids and make sure they know you think they matter, but don't aggrandize your kids and lead them to believe they matter more than anyone else, in the grand scheme of things. They should have self respect but also have the capacity to recognize that everyone else deserves self respect as well.[/quote]

Really good post[/quote]

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