Reply to Are you paying or contributing to your kids weddings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My oldest is only 15, and a boy, but if/when he gets married, I work contribute whatever they need if the bride’s parents aren’t paying or we’d do rehearsal/honeymoon. DH and I were able to fund our $100k wedding 20 years ago, and I’d want something at least as nice for them. [/quote]

You expect the women’s family to pay?!  Why? Because it’s tradition?  It’s only tradition because historically women didn’t work or receive an education.  Now that’s not the case.  Don’t continue your sexist way of thinking when the world has changed.[/quote]

Yeah, team boy mom.

When the bride is willing to relinquish all or half of the decision making to the groom and future mother in law, then your post would make sense.

But weddings are planned almost 100% by the bride, even today, down to the shoes the groom wears, and approval of or guidelines for the dress that the mother in law wears.

A wedding is one of those things where the old adage of if you are going to expect money from someone, then get ready to earn the money in the form of their (often unwelcome) opinions

Unless a bride is willing to let the groom's side be involved in decision-making and planning, then weddings should continue to follow the traditional route of the bride's side paying for it.[/quote]

Really! Your response is another sexist post.  The is 2026 not 1786.  Of course the groom’s family should get a voice in the planning and everything else!  And you should expect to pay equally for your sons and daughters.

(Well, maybe not you. You will reap what you sow.)[/quote]

They should, but they don't.

In 2026, weddings are planned and dominated by what the bride and occassionally her mother wants.

Rare is the bride that lets her future husband have a significant voice in the wedding planning.

Even rarer is the bride that gives the groom's parents a voice in the wedding planning.

Until brides join this century and give the groom's side equal voice in the wedding planning, the bride's family should be respinsible for the bulk of the wedding cost.[/quote]

This isn’t accurate at all and your preconceptions about a bride taking over wedding planning don’t bode well for your future relationship with your son’s future spouse.  You will likely end up one of those overbearing and often avoided MILs that everyone complains about on the family relationships board.

My kids will each get $50K to do with as they wish (down payment/wedding) when the time comes. I think DS is 5 years away and DD is 10 years away, so the amounts will be adjusted for inflation. [/quote]

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