Reply to splitting costs w/ spouse - we earn very different amounts

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Reply to "splitting costs w/ spouse - we earn very different amounts"

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[quote=Anonymous]My DH makes a little more than 20x what I make.  I had to get a calculator out to confirm that and I was surprised, but there it is.  We have been married about 10 years and when we got married the ratio was about 5:1 in his favor.  My income has stayed largely the same and his has gone up substantially.  When we first started living together (pre-marriage) we split everything 50/50.  I insisted on this because I didn't want to feel like a kept woman.  This meant that we lived farther out and rented a small apartment.  Shortly before we got married, he inherited some money that we used for a downpayment for a house.  There was no way that I could afford 1/2 of the mortgage on our house, but it seemed silly to insist that we live inconveniently just so we could maintain a 50/50 split.  We have since gone to a system where his paycheck is deposited into a joint account and all bills are paid from that.  We both max out our retirement benefits through work and we save the rest of my entire salary into extra retirement/college savings accounts that we share or are for the kid's education. Some of the money from our joint account is also taken out every month for extra savings.

I have to say that with an income gap of 20:1, you have to be making quite a bit of money jointly, so I am not sure why you both are so hung up on a 50/50 split.  There is no way that my husband, who works really hard for his considerable income, would want to live the lifestyle that I can afford 1/2 of on a non-profit salary.  I would talk to your husband.  If you are currently enjoying your lifestyle and don't need anything more AND he is saving his extra money into savings vehicles that are for retirement/kid's education and that you are the primary beneficiary of if he were to die, you probably don't have anything to worry about in reality and what you might want to talk to him about is a change in semantics.  Ask him: "Why do you consider our money so separate when, in fact, it is in joint savings for retirement purposes?" or "If we stopped using the language of 50/50 could we be making smarter financial choices with our investment income for the future?" or "Have our financial planning decisions kept up with the realities of our retirement needs and the way that we want our money organized for inheritance purposes?"  Anyone in your income bracket should be having annual, and probably bi-annual, sit down meetings with your financial planner to talk about your assets and investments.  Before one of these meetings might be a good time to talk with your husband.  If you are not having these meetings, suggest to your husband that it is time to start since you are getting closer to retirement.    [/quote]

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