Reply to Stepdaughter’s Clingyness Towards DH

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[quote=Anonymous]For context, I am not a step parent and my parents never did divorce. 
However, as someone who grew up with a father prone to emotional enmeshment bordering emotional incest, I urge you to take a close look at the father’s role in all of this! 
A 16 year old is never completely responsible for an unhealthy relationship dynamic. Never! She is being egged on, however covertly and subconsciously, by her father. He doesn’t realize it but he needs to be in therapy asap to address his own emotional enmeshment tendencies. 
For context, I felt bad for my dad being “exploited” by my mom, felt sorry for him and protective. I now realize he was just a weak man and it was not my job to protect him or even want to do so. He put me in a very unhealthy position by going along with this relationship dynamic with his wife, my mother. 
He would also say inappropriate things which I didn’t think much of at the time. He is probably on the spectrum so I fully believe he didn’t have any inappropriate intent (ar least not consciously and he would never ever DO anything) but sometimes it’s not your intent that matters but how others perceive your words and actions. 
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