Reply to How do people keep their regular lives going during divorce?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "How do people keep their regular lives going during divorce?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mean this kindly, but seeking 100% custody and having a parent evaluator in your life is unlikely to get you anything more than 50% custody and has vastly increased the amount of stress in your life. I don’t know your situation, but if your position on custody became more flexible, do you think you could perhaps negotiate a divorce that would be smoother and be done faster? Given what you heard from the evaluator perhaps it is time to find a less stressful path.

And I’m very, very sorry if shared custody is a terrible outcome for your kids. I just think you may need to be more realistic about where your time could be best focused.[/quote]

I’ve desperately tried to negotiate with my DH from the day he filed. Unfortunately he filed for the evaluation hours after I submitted my response to his initial petition. His attorney only withdrew an emergency hearing motion for full custody and minimal child support when I signed off on the evaluation. He refused to discuss any other options.

It’s heartbreaking.

I understand that since he has initiated the evaluation, it is extraordinarily unlikely that anything short of 50/50 custody will happen and since he’s asking as a dad, it’s very possible that he will get far more than 50%. I believe that the aggressive moves he’s making as a cover for some things he’s dealing with or has done, and it is very effective. I don’t even have future money to negotiate away- his salary makes mine insignificant so it’s not like I can say “just take everything” and get him to settle.

I wish that one person didn’t have the power to create a situation like this.[/quote]

Don’t let fear overcome you. My exH sought full custody? and with the help of a pre I got primary custody and he got every other weekend. [/quote]

Can you clarify? Not sure if there is a typo or if this is something I just don’t understand.[/quote]

In my state a PRE is a parental responsibility evaluator. CFI is the less expensive option- and less conclusive. The PP above seemed to imply that 50/50 was what all people get- and it’s not been my experience. In my case exH travelled extensively and I had been primary parent since birth so the evaluator said me having primary was best. Dad got every other weekend.

Tl:dr- vindictive father wanted 100%. I live in a pro dad strongly 50/50 state. Thanks to a custody evaluator I got primary custody and alcoholic dad got every other weekend. [/quote]

Not OP and given that he's an alcoholic it's a failure of the system if he even got weekends, unless he's blowing into the breathalyzer twice a day or something. How old were the kids? Did you have documented proof of the substance abuse?[/quote]

OP and I’m in a pro-dad state and my alcoholic neighbor has the kids 50/50 after maybe 2 months of an ignition device and a brief period of sobriety. He’s drinking heavily again but the mom, who is an attorney, wasn’t able to get modification. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics