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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] OP don't be surprised if they are then jealous when those who were involved grandparents get visited far more at the AL years later. My mom was hands off for parenting and grandparenting.  She even commented what a fool her sister was for taking her grandparents so much so the adult kids could go on dates, travel as a couple, etc. When the grandkids were born my aunt wanted to go there and be a nanny and chef so my cousin could recuperate. Those grandkids adore her, she adores them, her daughter and SIL are grateful and now years later it's one big love fest at the AL. Nobody wants to visit my mom because she had no interest in any of her grandkids, made everything about her needs, and was manipulative and moody most of her life until they medicated her at AL. I visit because she's medicated and no longer mean, but she doesn't seem to understand my aunt is more popular because she was kind and loving.[/quote]

Hmmm aunt did all that work and was shunted off to AL? Where is the payback? [/quote]

She loved AL. She is social and had plenty of friends some from her neighborhood who moved to the same place. The started in independent living when they moved. it was a CCRC.  She was safer there too. She also loved being involved with her grandkids. She always said it didn't feel like work at all and they had a close bond. She was so different from my mother (her sister) who saw everything as transactional and if she did even the smallest thing, you owed her. She was that way with "friends" too and they gradually distanced themselves. Even I enjoyed doing things for my aunt and visiting because she didn't feel owed, she just enjoyed the company and help.[/quote]

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