Reply to S/O: Separated but not "divorced"

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Reply to "S/O: Separated but not "divorced""

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[quote=Anonymous][img][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents did this.  Family events like graduations and Thanksgiving were more or less the same but they were otherwise apart.  My dad got a new partner.  My mom didn't want one.  My mom and my dad's new partner got along.  I thought the situation worked out well for all concerned.

My mom said the only reason to divorce is if you want to remarry.  I actually think divorcing helps if you want to date, even if you don't want to remarry, but I know many people who openly date as separated people.

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What is in it for your dad’s partner if he dies ? [/quote]

I'm the "other woman" in a situation like this. My partner/boyfriend/whatever you want to call it has been separated but not divorced from his wife for nearly 15 years. I don't need to worry about what's in it for me if he dies because I have boatloads more money than he does. If anything, he's the one who is missing out on tons by not marrying me.

People make non-traditional arrangements for their lives all the time. As long as there is clarity, clear communication and free will, it's all good. [/quote]

+1 to this. Someone who is a long term romantic partner isn't necessarily entitled to the lifetime earnings etc of the person they are dating. Particularly when you aren't buying a home together and building a family together (which typically requires sacrifices financially from one or both), which is what typically justifies money being a joint asset.

The type of relationships that are suited to this situation are usually where both people have their own lives, can support themselves financially, and are not critically dependent on each other. They actually enjoy spending time together.

[/quote]

I’ve known several women in such relationships. They were all cut off by his kids right after the man’s death and had a huge crisis of identity and felt very depressed and lonely. Usually the man still spends resources on joint travel, free time together and hobbies which creates a fake impression of unity. There is still a drastic fallout in lifestyle upon his death and in all cases  I know the “partners” were not even invited to funeral out of concern of legal claims. 
I wouldn’t deal with  “separated” men and I am high NW [/quote]

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