Reply to S/O: Separated but not "divorced"

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Reply to "S/O: Separated but not "divorced""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"It's cheaper to keep her" but that doesn't mean you have to keep her around.  :lol:

I have a not-quite-ex. We've lived separately for years. We have school-aged kids, and it would've been catastrophic to them if ex and I had split the money and tried to figure out how to make two full, separate households work. One of us went to a rented room, the other got custody and stayed with the kids in their childhood home. Non-custodial parent sees the kids weekly; they're not estranged (they just didn't want to parent, which is a large part of the marital breakdown). It's a delicate balance, but it works for us, for now. We'll file and finish the paperwork once the kids are grown and flown. I'll never get back with my ex, but we're probably happier now than either of us were for most of our coupled-up marriage.

I don't know why some people judge this approach so harshly. It gives a great cooling off period and limits the financial fsckedupedness. Not everyone can do this, and it does require logistics wrangling that can be a problem if there's active conflict between the parents. For us, though, it's the best possible almost-resolution (for now). [/quote]

I have a similar situation to this in terms of root causes of separation. I am assuming divorce bc he will want to date again and I imagine that’s gonna be an issue for the ladies he will end up seeing if he’s not divorced. (For my part I am not worried about my status.) how do you all manage new relationships given the legal and financial ties you still have?[/quote]

Transparency. Im separated and have a wonderful bf of a year.[/quote]

It's a lot easier for women to date when separated than for men.

This is because men don't care that they're committing adultery with married/separated women.[b] But women are told all the time not to date a separated man because he's still married. It's a double standard.[/b]

For this reason alone, it's best for men to go through with the divorce. Otherwise it will be harder to get laid. [/quote]

It’s because men often hold themselves out as separated when they are having affairs. Not because women shouldn’t date a man in a true separation situation, but because it’s more often a man is not truly separated and is fleecing the woman. [/quote]

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