Reply to 19 year gap - Will everything be okay?

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Reply to "19 year gap - Will everything be okay?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I say this kindly as someone who dated older for most of my 20s and who was engaged to someone 11 years older -- don't do this.

Partnering with someone significantly puts you at a disadvantage -- they earn more and they are more established in their career, so your mobility is limited. When there is a choice about where to go in the relationship, when you do the math, you will always lose out -- because you earn less and have less time invested in a career.  It's unfair in a way that is very subtle, and I didn't realize the dynamic until it was too late.

I have really encouraged my DD to partner with someone much closer to her age.

Also, as a divorced parent of 2, it's a huge red flag that your partner already has 2 older kids - does he have full 50% custody?  Does he take care of 50% of the parenting load?

I really think you should get into individual therapy and consider why you are willing to accept such a limited future life for yourself in the name of "love". It's a huge romanticization and de-rationalization of one of the most important decisions you will make in your life. [/quote]

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