Reply to Moms, What Do You Give Teachers at Christmas?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gift card between $200-$300 (not labeled so they don’t get in trouble) a card my kid helps write and a small meaningful physical gift if that’s something that makes sense — one year we got a book she and I had been discussing signed by the author, for example. I email the principal.

Generic teachers $20 card to Target and a card my kid helps with. [/quote]
At our public school teachers are not allowed to accept such a large gift.  They'd have to turn it over to the school.  Families are capped at giving no more than $100 per teacher per school year.[/quote]

That’s why I don’t write the amount on it.[/quote]

You are putting the teacher in an extremely awkward situation. When they go to use it and find out how much is on it, they are supposed to report it and hand it over to admin to handle giving back.  Will they? Probably not...but then it's a really uncomfortable set up.  If someone else finds out they didn't, they could get in trouble. Please don't do this.

If you are feeling extremely generous, $20 is appropriate. It's supposed to be a token gift, not an annual bonus.

--teacher[/quote]

You may feel awkward. The teachers who I have gifted have not. One teacher selected different, perfect, books for mu advanced reader for the entire year and made tons of time to talk to her about them. The year before the teacher yelled at her for reading her own books when she finished the way below level class books. Preserving a child’s love of reading?? Deserves a serious recognition, not a token. A token is for the lazy teacher yelling at the advanced kids.[/quote]
I thought you said the gift card was anonymous? If so, how would you know that they don't feel uncomfortable that you broke the policy and risked getting them in trouble?

You're bribing teachers for individual attention?  Ick.[/quote]

I didn’t say it was anonymous I said I don’t label the amount on the outside. The gift was in recognition of the work, and given in December, so it’s hardly a bribe.[/quote]

If there is any chance that this teacher will

--write a recommendation for a magnet program
--complete a private school application form
--assign grades that affect the student after this year
--Select students for a specific role that not all children will get to do (student government, patrols, the lead in the play, sports team, whatever)
--write a college rec letter down the road

...then giving a gift that is so large your student stands out from the others is absolutely going to be seen as bribery. We talk in the teacher lunch room.  I assure you we all discuss how to handle these uncomfortable situations.

If you want to thank the teacher for their work with a generous gift, save it for the last day of school, after all decisions regarding grades, placements, etc are made.[/quote]

I have family members who are teachers and they say this happens every year, that the teachers know who the generous parents who appreciate their (genuine) efforts are, and that teachers appreciate their gifts.

If a teacher said to me they couldn’t accept it or it made them uncomfortable that would be different but they’ve told me they appreciate it and bought things for their classrooms so I don’t think I should go Scrooge because someone on the internet said so?

Also I have never asked for anything on your list.[/quote]
You're specifically violating a school policy.  You even said you're not writing the amount on the gift card to get around that policy. That's not okay.  [/quote]

It is a foolish policy, that expects me to give the same gift to a teacher who scolded my daughter for reading books as the one who clearly spent a lot of time thought and energy, making sure my daughter had a great material. I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about following foolish policies. [/quote]
You're not expected to give anything to a bad teacher.  But you can't give unfair and inappropriate amounts to any teacher. [/quote]

We are definitely expected. We get harassed for a month by class parents about gifting. Then we do it again for teacher appreciation. The expectation is clearly there. So with that expectation, I hardly think it’s inappropriate or unfair for a teacher who has really gone above and beyond to receive a gift that reflects that. What is it you find unfair?[/quote]

Check your language. The class parent is not harassing you. They stepped up to volunteer for a thankless job. Do better. [/quote]

I have gotten no fewer than 15 types of communication this month. After the first one, I responded that we would be gifting separately, but communications did not cease. That is definitionally harassment.[/quote]

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