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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When dating I constantly run across men who cannot be self reflective. If there’s a problem
It’s always 100% the other persons fault. It’s so frustrating? Do they think they are perfect? Just have no interest in growing and becoming a better person?[/quote]

Who is responsible for your failed relationships? Was it the man every time?[/quote]

OP here. I am saying that the men I run across in dating almost always believe relationship failure is 100% their exes fault. Very rarely I come across one who can identify something he did wrong, and once I get to know him better I discover he still engages in that same behavior, yet feels entitled to a good relationship.[/quote]

Hmm, the people I run into say some water down cliche how it was both of their faults, they moved apart and he worked too much.

They rarely say that their exes told them not to work all the time or to set some iPhone boundaries and that they refused to/ could not or would not come up with a better work system after hours. [/quote]

It's funny because there really are break ups that are all one person's fault, but yes you are basically conditioned to say it was mutual because it just sounds immature and like a red flag to say it was all their fault.

I only had one major breakup before meeting my husband (dated several other guys but not seriously enough for the break up to be anything other that "eh, we just weren't right for each other."). My one significant ex had spent the last year of our relationship secretly dating another woman even though we were living together. And when I became suspicious about his close friendship with this woman after a few months, he accused me of being "crazy" and "possessive". When I finally wised up and left him, I found out they were already engaged.

Were there red flags? Of course, in retrospect I see where I went wrong in trusting him and not trusting my own instincts. But was our breakup my "fault." Baby, no. He was a liar and a user and my biggest error was being too naive when we met.

But when I started dating my DH, I didn't say all that because I knew how messy it sounded. I said "well it was a growing experience for both of us, I am glad it ended when it did because he definitely wasn't right for me." You have to be kind of equitable or you come off sounding bitter and vindictive. Even though I actually was kind of bitter and vindictive! Later I told DH the whole story and DH rightfully hates that guy on my behalf. [/quote]

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