Reply to I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any tips for how I find a woman like this? I'm a woman with major mommy issues (mine was extremely emotionally distant and hateful towards me and either tried to set me up to fail or ignored me, according to her whim). I'm not even kidding. I actually love overbearing women who take me under their wing and I feel a deep lack of one in my life right now.[/quote]

OP here. I honestly wish I could meet you IRL and hand off the ones in my life to you. You are exactly what they are looking for. My dad was distant and disdainful, but my mom was overbearing in much the way these women are. I do think that's why I attract them -- I spent so much of my childhood appeasing a woman with these tendencies and I think I just fall into it sometimes and they like it. But the result is that they will attempt to "guide" and "mold" me the way my mom always used to, and I will emotionally feel the way I did as a teenager when I realized how much I hated being controlled in that way (and the inherent judgment implied by someone constantly telling you "no, do it like *this*"). It's just never a good situation but every few years I seem to encounter a woman like this who latches on to me and tries to turn me into her sidekick or minion. I've learned to detach and avoid but that's also work. I just want a break.[/quote]
PP here. It's cracking me up how we had the same parent dynamic, but in reverse. I attract very overbearing men who want to completely make over my entire existence and I end up rebelling against them and running away while they tighten their deathgrip. Basically, I attract the male equivalent of the women you attract and I'm similarly repelled by these men. That was my dynamic with my father.

With women, I end up performing for their love while they stand back and eye me critically without offering any help or kindness. The exact same way my mother used to. I really just want them to take me under their wing and spend time with me. I'm always trying to heal that mommy wound that taught me women don't find me worthwhile. I'm aware of this now in my 40s.

Is your dynamic with men similar to your dynamic with your distant father?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics