Reply to Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I wish we could leave at 8PM as a previous poster said, but DH won't. Everyone is drinking heavily (except me), teenagers are sneaking off to the backyard with some adults to smoke week, the party will go on until midnight or later and all the adults are heavily inebriated. My SIL will keep her two kids (6 and 8) there until 1AM.

My inlaws also have this tradition of opening their family gifts in front of all their friends and neighbors on Christmas Even; my husband says his Dad (who passed away), always liked the neighbors to see what they're getting for Christmas. It's just such an odd tradition. If it was a nice, calm gathering of family I would have no trouble going until 8 or 9PM. I'm just not into the late partying. [/quote]

That is not the right environment for my kids, OP. I would make an executive decision not to subject myself or my son to this. Don't forget that when he gets older, he'll be sucked up into the weed and alcohol thing. You don't want him to see that past a certain age, which is coming in about a year or two (right now he probably won't remember what he sees). So you can tell your husband that his family is modeling all the wrong things for your son, and that you are going this year, but it's the last year. If he's the kind to try to leverage his family, tell him this AFTER this year's party.

I fondly remember the large parties in my family for Christmas Eve, but no one got drunk and no one smoked weed. My father didn't like to go, because he was the "sit at home" sort, but he tolerated it for one night. He would never have tolerated it if there had been heavy drinking or weed.
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From the initial post, I was gojng to say OP was being unreasonable.  But after seeing her follow up. I don’t think she’s being reasonable.  That “party” sounds totally miserable.  You said they are only 20 minutes away.  I would drive separately and leave with the kids at 9.  Your husband can take an uber home when he’s ready.  I think to do this, you just need to be relentless positive but firm about it.  Don’t give him a chance to say you are being bichy about it — so no passive aggressiveness about his family (which would be well deserved).  Just say it’s too much for you and kids but he should stay and have a great time!  [/quote]

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