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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For years, I have been called "selfish" on DCUM for being a single mom by choice. Maybe the pendulum is swinging? When I first became a single mom by choice some 15 years ago, it was a bit of a stigma. Now I know tons of fellow DC single moms by choice.

[quote]
Yes, I'm effectively a parent to 2 lovely small children and 1 utterly lousy teenager I never asked for. I wish I had had the courage to say screw the stigma and be a single mom by choice.[/quote][/quote]
PP here -- I was one of those who thought being a single mom by choice was selfish...until I realized too late through painful experience that most married moms are single moms [i] by force[/i].

How many men actually play a consistent and equal role in the socioemotional lives and moral shaping of their children, much less participate in each of the decisions and responsibilities necessary to raise their child?

They approach parenting as if they're a posh patron at a restaurant who should be handed a menu by a waitress a.k.a. their wife, and asked to select which task suits them at any given time, with selecting nothing at all being a viable option according to their whim. It's disgusting laziness and arrogance.

In the process, they end up being worse than no father at all because their presence corrodes the household. They corrupt the sons in the household into growing up into lazy, arrogant little tools like their fathers who expect to be applauded for rolling over. They send the indelible message to the daughters that men are a special class above women no matter what society claims. They run their wives emotionally and physically into the ground. And then they wait their applause for gaining to continue living in the household and not abandoning the family. An utter clown show.

The amount of cope among moms is epic. So many women who would consider their husbands the most worthless person they know if he were a woman will say stupid things like, "Oh, he's definitely hands on. He helps do laundry and takes the kids out." Implicit in that is a recognition that doing nothing at all is always an option for men, so when he does something, he's a rockstar. That's freaking ridiculous.

I will always regret that I was not a single mom by choice. I thought long and hard about it, but I didn't want my children and I to deal with the stigma. Now, I look over at this tiresome man living in the same house as me and I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make him disappear most days. At least then I wouldn't have to wrangle stupid issues like yes, you should empty the lint from the dryer and yes, if you have to leave chores to go handle a work assignment, then you have to return to the chores and finish them because you don't have a freaking slave here. Mind you, every mom I know would tell you that I have it good because their husbands are even more stupid.
[/quote]
Much love to you, PP. We're in the trenches together. Money is all men ever wanted to offer and any woman who can make her own would be wise to opt out. Penis is the world's cheapest and most ubiquitous commodity. A man who can't coparent without marriage would be a shit father in marriage anyway. No need to let a man colonize your life to have sex and kids.[/quote]

LOL !!! Nearly fell off my chair laughing so hard. Thank you ! Tell us more.

I just hope & pray that you're not a marriage counselor.[/quote]

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