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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So I’m the actual poster that described the Monday request for a red dress on a Thursday. With respect to consequences, it depends. And I often opt out of this stuff entirely, because I don’t care about this kind of nonsense. My kid jokes with me about not being one of “those kinds of moms”, because I don’t care about this crap. My parenting style would probably be considered more paternal than maternal with respect to this stuff. I do ask her to tell me when participation in this kind of stuff is really important to her and sometimes it is. I try to accommodate that since she often doesn’t care about spirit day type stuff. It still adds up as an overall burden.

But sometimes there are consequences. For example, in 7th grade, my daughter was going on a field trip for Model UN (in Spanish since she is in immersion). We had an outfit picked, but the teacher told them on the Monday that there were very specific dress code requirements that had to be met by Thursday or they would get 10 points off their grade. We didn’t have anything in the house to meet this requirement and my daughter cares a lot about her grades so this involved a last minute panicked trip to the mall to find a freaking pantsuit for a 13 year old girl. I was pretty pissed about this one.

I will say that Spanish immersion does seem to be particularly prone to this. The teachers seem to be a lot more strict about grade point losses for not meeting a particular dress code. But I’ve seen it with choir, etc.[/quote]

10 points off a grade is a consequence. And your daughter not wanting to lose 10 points matters.

How much this matters depends on the specifics and context. If the other spouse is maxed out on "needs", the panicked trip is what it is. Hopefully your spouse helped appeal this with the teachers boss. [/quote]

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