Reply to Is there any expectation on a family member who stays “postpartum”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m the PP with the baby snatcher MIL. Like many couples, we try to have major communications with ILs come from my husband. So I was not present at the conversation where he told them that they needed to stay in a hotel. So when they showed up with suitcases and started making themselves at home my sleep deprived brain was really struggling. Had he not actually told them that they needed to stay at a hotel? Had he somehow implied he didn’t really mean it like they said? Who knows, I honestly still don’t understand the level of entitlement they were projecting! I/we did what we could prior to the birth but people have to be decent. Also how are you supposed to know what you’re going to need beforehand?  I sure as sh*t was not expecting to be destroyed to the extent I was by my birth experience. I have never felt as battered and exhausted as I did at that moment in time and I’ve spent significant time in the ICU with a life threatening illness. I think there is a lot of white washing of the experience of pregnancy and child birth and a lack of understanding that it can be fine or it can kill you and it can be anything in between. So if you are going to show up in someone’s life at that time you should be ready to be helpful or at ASK what they need or you should wait until they recover.[/quote]

+100 on not knowing what you need beforehand. Like you just have no idea what state you are going to be in mentally and there is really not any way to prepare for it. The point is that older generations should actually know a bit better and be ready to offer it, I am honestly baffled that a woman who had been through childbirth would pull some of the crap people are talking about on the thread but they all did. I am guessing they all had even worse experiences and are just paying it forward? Women have long been treated like crap around childbirth. But wow would it be great if they would instead think, with empathy, that this is an opportunity for them to break a negative cycle and offer the next generation something they never had, rather than taking it out on their daughters and daughters-in-law. Just deeply dysfunctional.[/quote]

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