Reply to Some take it or leave it reflections on eldercare, 18 months in

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[quote=Anonymous]A lot of this rang true for me. I moved mom
Close to me and was her primary “person” for 4 years as she declined from dementia.she was in assisted living and later memory care so I was not doing the hands on too often (although more than I had imagined plus all the medical, social, lol, logistical, financial etc)….but I was still spending a ton of time and energy caring for her. She was not the person she used to be and it was exhausting. I could not make up for all she lost and by the later stages, I could do very little for her but just be there. I also had to set boundaries around how much time I spent attending to her…. At the end I was there several times a day while trying to keep my job, life, parenting teens but for the long middle “, twice a week was what I could manage.

All that being said. I was devastated at her passing and do not regret taking on the burden. It was hard and kind of sucked but also the right thing for me. And because I had some boundaries it did not kill me (though at times it came close).  I think each person has to figure it out, try to maintain your own life and sanity while not closing off your heart.![/quote]

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