Reply to Am I screwing us over for financial aid?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think this is a silly question because you are viewing it as just a question of "how much financial aid can we qualify for" as thought that's the only metric here. That's not how it works. Other PP's are right that even at that lower income, you might not have qualified for aid. Your entire life can't revolve around financial aid decisions.

Rather, this choice is instead a holistic choice about the kind of family life you want, and what you value most. I faced a similar decision to you and chose to stay in my lower paid position. But I didn't do it in the hopes of getting more financial aid. In fact, I did it understanding that this may limit our kids somewhat in college choices. If they do well enough to get into the kind of college that offers generous aid, I do think we could find a way to work that out. But more likely they will go to state schools and we will make practical choices with an eye towards avoiding loans.

This is a sacrifice, yes, and there is another version of our life in which we have a much higher income and don't have to make any hard choices about college. But the trade off is that I would spend decades in a career I hate, spend less time with my kids, have a more chaotic and stressful home life where we have to outsource a lot more, and also operating in a higher SES category where there are always more and more expectations for things like vacations and clothes and activities. It's not what I wanted, it's not what my spouse wanted, it's not how we wanted to raise our kids.

Will they resent us later for not having more money for college? Maybe -- they are bright kids and definitely college bound and I hope they don't get their hearts set on schools that might be out of reach for us financially. But realistically, I don't think this is going to be that big of a deal. We have a great family dynamic with good relationships, my kids are practical people who seem to have absorbed our values of caring more about having time together as a family and an enjoyable lifestyle over a rat race mentality of more, more, more.

It's really not about financial aid.[/quote]

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