Reply to Discovering Affair 10 Years After The Fact

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP that wife of yours is for the streets... Return her back.

Sure that affair wasn't her first or last. [/quote]

Sometimes what’s simple is true, and so I believe it to be here. I agree with one of the PPs above, who said that sometimes people can make mistakes, do something wrong, regret it, and mend their ways.  This can happen.  For example, you can’t really expect your wife to resist temptation if the young Christian Bale made a move on her in the hotel bar, the same way that a man would probably cave in the less-likely scenario that Sydney Sweeney tried to seduce him.  None of us are made of stone, and we are all potentially vulnerable to temptation.

But this isn’t that. She was brazen enough about this affair to carry on for a period of time and to discuss it with her friends.  That’s not a mistake; it’s hostile action. Her character has been revealed. She for the streets, and the sooner you accept that fact and move on the better your long term prospects are likely to be. Consult with a professional to get an objective view on this, no one on this thread actually knows your situation and there may be important nuance to consider, but recognize how badly you are going to want to believe that this relationship can be repaired because of all that will be lost.  But, most likely, it’s lost already and probably never existed the way you think it did.  IMO, in a marriage worth saving, the cheating spouse would have, at some point, confessed, repented, and begged for forgiveness.  Not been prickly when you discovered it on your own.  [/quote]

This is spot on.  You would have to be Jesus to look past all these red flags, forgive and reconcile with her.   That or you get off on being cucked, but that doesn’t sound like you considering the post.   Distance yourself and forgive her, but don’t let her in any more than you have to for the kids.[/quote]

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