Reply to Discovering Affair 10 Years After The Fact

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP that wife of yours is for the streets... Return her back.

Sure that affair wasn't her first or last. [/quote]

Sometimes what’s simple is true, and so I believe it to be here. I agree with one of the PPs above, who said that sometimes people can make mistakes, do something wrong, regret it, and mend their ways.  This can happen.  For example, you can’t really expect your wife to resist temptation if the young Christian Bale made a move on her in the hotel bar, the same way that a man would probably cave in the less-likely scenario that Sydney Sweeney tried to seduce him.  None of us are made of stone, and we are all potentially vulnerable to temptation.

[b]But this isn’t that. She was brazen enough about this affair to carry on for a period of time and to discuss it with her friends.  That’s not a mistake; it’s hostile action. [/b]Her character has been revealed. She for the streets, and the sooner you accept that fact and move on the better your long term prospects are likely to be. Consult with a professional to get an objective view on this, no one on this thread actually knows your situation and there may be important nuance to consider, but recognize how badly you are going to want to believe that this relationship can be repaired because of all that will be lost.  But, most likely, it’s lost already and probably never existed the way you think it did.  IMO, in a marriage worth saving, the cheating spouse would have, at some point, confessed, repented, and begged for forgiveness.  Not been prickly when you discovered it on your own.  [/quote]

NP.

Agree 100% with this post, especially the part in bold.  This was not a simple “one time mistake” by the dear-wife.

This is a power and control issue here; you can tell because dear-wife told her friend about the extra-marital sex and they were discussing it in secret (so they thought).

Everyone was in on the secret (friend(s), the other man, and dear-wife).  Everyone except OP.

What. A. Fool.  At least, that is how OP looks in everyone else’s eyes.  10 years and he still can’t figure it out.  Ha ha; joke is on him.

This is what really happens when a wife not only steps out, but she cuckolds her “dear husband.”

Sorry OP, but no amount of therapy is going to overcome what your wife has done to you.  Lawyer up and do your best to erase “dear wife” from your kids and your life (provided they are even your kids.  They might not be). [/quote]

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