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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let it go. There’s this idea some parents have that kids can be "separated" from their families and, as long as the kids want to be friends, they should be allowed to do so. But that doesn’t work, and honestly, it shouldn’t. My child and another one wanted to be friends for years, but over time, things shifted. The other mom had a toxic view of the world that didn’t become apparent until her daughter had already absorbed it. Eventually, my child no longer wanted to be friends—and that was a good thing. It’s an important skill to learn how to resist the urge to always give in to every friendship impulse and to be discerning about who you choose to spend time with. A friend who isn’t available, even if it’s not her fault, just isn’t good relationship material.

When kids are younger, one play date is all it takes to be “best friends,” and it can be with anyone. Some parents resist directing this, feeling like it’s “engineering” the friendships. But when parents are friends with each other, kids pick up on the values they see modeled. So, when your kids are young, it's okay to help guide them toward good friendships. As they grow older, they can start figuring out their own paths.[/quote]

I'm just not understanding how this works once kids are in school- do you find new families in your kid's class each year that "share your values?"  Or do you just limit their interactions with "school" friends to in-school only?[/quote]

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