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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get it OP.  One of my kids has a December birthday too so it's even harder to come up with enough ideas for everyone!  And my mom has a very specific formula of how she likes to give- a book, some clothes, a christmas ornament, and something else for <$20.  Except, I'm expected to supply her with ideas for each of these things, or scroll through the dozens of links she sends me.  For the "something else", if I tell her to get DD something crafty, like glitter markers or wasabi tape, etc., there will then be five follow up texts requesting links to specific craft kits.  Gah!  Like just go to Target or Michaels and pick something out!  It's exhasusting.

At least with the adults we've really pared things back, both on my side and DH's.[/quote]

This is not about the gifts.  This is about your mom being lonely and bored.  Is it any better if you reframe it in your mind to think of this as time you are putting in to help amuse your mom, rather than time you are putting in to buy crap your kids don’t really need?  It helps me to think of it that way.  Like taking her on a long outing to Costco — yes, I could do it more efficiently but it is a way for her to have something to do.  I will likely be just as bored and lonely in 30 years.  [/quote]

Not the person you are responding too, but it is not her responsibility to add stress to her already overloaded life to help someone bored and lonely. She can do volunteer work, play cards, go for walks, help with the grandkids, read books, make sandwiches for the homeless to deal with loneliness and boredom without adding more to someone else's to-do list. It should not be all about gifts. How about giving her grandchildren the gift of taking them out on a fun adventure, just grandma and the kids? How about baking with them or doing a science experiment or craft with them? Let go of the rigidity that it's all about spending large amounts of money on landfill trash.[/quote]

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