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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The annual "what should we send the kids" texts have started from the 10 or so family members who send stuff to my kids every year.  Gifts just aren't my "love language" and I dread the effort of researching and figuring out what my kids might want, and then passing along the suggestions along to the relatives.  By the time we get around to our gifts for the kids, I am totally out of ideas. (Kids are 4 and 5 and don't really want anything- they have so much stuff).

This year my mom is also suggesting that the adults need to start exchanging bc it's important for the kids to see us " gifting" each other. My dad never bought her many gifts and I think she is sour about it and projecting on us, so I am trying to be kind, but honestly I am already over Christmas and it's not even December.  Can anyone else relate?   I am so sick of the holidays centering on gifts.[/quote]

Push back on your mother. Surely it's better for the kids to see you're not materialistic.[/quote]

Hopefully you’re already getting your mother a gift from you and gifts from your kids.  It’s not materialistic to exchange gifts as long as people don’t overextend their budget.  [/quote]

OP here-  no, my mother doesn't buy the adults gifts and we don't buy her gifts.  She asked us multiple times over several years to stop buying gifts for her bc she had downsized and was feeling overwhelmed by her stuff.  This year she wants to change that request. 
[/quote]

My mom has also downsized and so we really try hard to find her something that doesn’t take up space.  Airline tickets to visit us, an Apple Watch that will alert us if she falls, new automated blinds because she had trouble with the pull mechanism on her old ones and so was just sitting in the dark, a voice activated TV remote, etc.  we usually all go in on one or two things.  I get feeling sort of forgotten on the holidays since no one ever buys me anything really — it would be nice to figure out something you could get her that would make her life easier or nicer, even if it’s just a nice box of tea and cookies.  [/quote]

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