Reply to Navigating adult friendships is confusing. Advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You've only known her a couple years, this might just be how she is.
I had a friend I made during covid who I thought was my new "best friend" but she would disappear regularly and I would wrack my brain thinking how I might have offended her. She's just kind of Adhd. She hasn't spoken to me for 6 weeks and just texted me asking to hang out "It's been crazy lately". I'm used to it now and realize she just isn't that dependable person I wished she was.[/quote]

I had a friend 20 years ago (I'm 46 now) who sort of "hyper-bonded" to me while I was in law school (and therefore had a pretty flexible schedule, no kids, was seriously dating but not married yet) and her husband was in medical school (crazy busy). She worked a normal 9-5 job and we had a hobby in common. I was new to the area and we met through our hobby and had a lot in common. We started spending tons of time together and she'd call me all the time (texting wasn't as big back then). We were super close for a few years (she was a bridesmaid in my wedding) and then we sort of fell off a cliff and she started doing the same thing with someone else. It wasn't like something specific happened - it almost felt like she was one of those people chasing the "high" of a new and intense relationship? Anyway, it was odd, and it was hurtful at the time but then I moved a few hours away and we just sort of faded. Anyway, all that to say, that's just who this friend was, but I didn't see it at first. Maybe your friend is the same. Or maybe she's going through something right now and doesn't know how to navigate. I may be short with text responses to even my closest friends when I'm stressed or super busy. When I'm having a crazy day and my phone is blowing up with memes, I tend to get annoyed, whereas on a normal day I'd enjoy/appreciate it. I'd give it a couple of months, get through the holidays, and then see where things are. At that point if nothing has changed then perhaps it's time for a talk if you want to salvage things. [/quote]

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