Reply to Worried about H because of his imminent heart attack -- he keeps telling me that I am the problem

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[quote=Anonymous]You are sounding weird. Your main concern is the financial blow his death would involve. That seems apparent from what you report your daughter said about the mortgage.

I have been in your shoes in a way. Toxic marriage, spouse blaming me for his heart problems, child in the mix. In my case we lived under the same roof but were emotionally estranged when he wasn’t yelling at me. OP, before I took the plunge and initiated a divorce, he had a catastrophic stroke. He’s alive but extremely disabled cognitively and physically. You think your husband will die if he has a heart attack. Maybe he will. But maybe he won’t. Maybe he’ll wind up incapacitated and become your burden. And if he doesn’t have any kind of king-term disability, your finances will be f—ked. I strongly advise you to wrap up your toxic, horrible marriage. Model healthy decisions for your daughter. Arrange a financial settlement of whatever kind, and start being independent. Your husband is responsible for his own health decisions. If he dies, he dies. That’ll be terrible for your daughter. But you can’t keep trying to manage him. He lives far from you. He wants separation from you. Just drop the rope. [/quote]

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