Reply to Brother-in-law asked for $5k

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP posting: In-laws gave BIL 30 days to move out. They want to retire and no longer take care of him. [/quote]

Then it is a really, really bad idea to give him 5K. If the in-laws are kicking out their own son they know BIL is a moocher. He needs to feel a little pain to see if he gets his but into gear. By you rescuing him and giving him 5K he is just kicking the can down the road and won't feel the need to support himself. The in-laws are kicking him out, so first see what happens. If not you are going to drain your own kids future.

And DH and I both come from poor immigrant families. We are the most successful as we are now both teachers. So we make a good living but we don't have a lot of extra money. We came to an agreement on what we will fund for family looking for handouts - and we never loan money because it is just too awkward to have family members owe you money.

Absolutely yes to:
Anything that supports being able to continue to work-  So car repair for family member who works two jobs so they can get to work and not have to take out a predatory loan or family member has a job but is going to an interview for a new job - we pay for haircut and outfit

If the electricity, water, or gas has been turned off

Schooling items - Kids need glasses and because they have broken or lost a pair insurance won't pay for a second pair, kids want to play a sport but money is tight and family can't afford high school sports fee, field trip expenses, tutoring for ASVAB for military

Emergency situation - family member lived in a bad location and it got worse when drug dealers/ gang members moved in next door. We paid for deposit and co-signed for new apartment in better location so family could immediately leave then worry about breaking lease and getting deposit back later. We paid the deposit directly to property management company.

No to:
Vague demands for money
Money to relatives who do not work AND who have no concrete plans to go get a job and keep a job
Money to upgrade such as nicer car
expensive surgery for pets
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