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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]STA is run by CCC and Congo members. Big emphasis on status and wealth among parents though it varies by grade. Some forms have down to earth parents. Others might have a heavy concentration of the 4 Cs. We had boys in 2 forms and parent culture was night and day.

Different with the boys. You have some privileged white kids but they are kept in check for the most part because the culture among the boys values in this order 1) athletic prowess, 2) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.

Not gonna lie. Black and Asian boys will hear stupid stuff and be on the receiving end of micro aggressions.School is not great at acknowledging or dealing with it. DEI director means well but is ineffectual. Few if any Latino or Native American boys. Zero in my boys’ grades. Interestingly among the Asians there are many white/Asian mixed kids.

Teachers are the great equalizer. They reward merit and don’t know or care about parent status. There a few conservatives in the history department but more political than racial. Overall teaching quality is strong in Upper School. The teachers made the school.

The admin is a mixed bag. HOS expresses liberal DEI thoughts but is terrified of the wealthy MAGA crowd. Anything explicit and overt admin will respond to. A boy was expelled a couple years ago for using a racial slur. More subtle and structural stuff they let slide. Eg. Lower School head favors white students but he can’t affect grades or appoint student leaders. It affects tone but not opportunities.

OTH, the focus at STA is on boys learning and the school promotes values without going overboard woke the way they do at Sidwell and GDS. [/quote]

OP here - thank you so much for this thoughtful post. This is exactly what I was looking for. I appreciate you taking the time to truly hear what I was asking for and respond accordingly. [/quote]

Very good post! My son recently graduated (last 2 yrs) as a white kid from a middle class, liberal family. All I can add as a white person is a strong agreement with the above hierarchy of values, although I would put athletic prowess and academic achievement as tied for most important among the boys. It is very respected and cool to be a high academic achiever as long as you don't brag about it. 
1) athletic prowess, 1) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.
The boys (especially at the high school level) really don't care who has money. My son was completely accepted by the boys and his friends' parents despite our lack of big money, prestige jobs or club memberships. [/quote]

NP. Agree class and clubs are important. They may be "friends" with the black kids and lower class kids but no they are not flying to Nantucket with them or golfing with them. Very white wealthy experiences that your kid will be left out of. Family gatherings at the Met Club and Chevy and Congo happen often and you won't be part of that either. It does affect the kids left out. [/quote]

You will get the same level of academic rigor and strong friendships for life at the Abbey.  We know both schools well as well as the entire big three scene plus others like Landon via extended family.  Minus on the Abbey side is less sports culture if this is important to your child. (We view this as a plus, though) and much, much, much less materialistic BS (a huge plus for us, and a major draw for us to this school over STA and others.) This means there is so much more social cohesion.  We drive a 10 year old modest car to dropoff and don't feel out of place.  We are so happy that our child can get a great education without the wealth/class baggage on offer elsewhere.

We have not found the Abbey to be a place with hostile attitudes towards anyone.  Our child's class is majority students of color and the atmosphere is positive and supportive for everyone.[/quote]

OP here - thanks for providing your perspective on the Abbey. How many classes are there per grade in highschool (or is that not really a thing to separate by class/homeroom)? I ask since you mentioned that your son's class was majority students of color. I'm pleasantly surprised to hear that. Do you find that the students of color mingle uniformly or self-segregate into their different groups? I don't have a judgment about it either way, I'm just curious?

Additionally, I've heard that all Abbey classes are taught at the AP level. Is this true? I'm a little concerned about that as in my mind, I equate that to mean that every class a student takes there is proceeding at a very rapid pace, which may impact depth of understanding for those who maybe can't keep up if every class is taught at a fast pace.

Finally, I believe that the Abbey high school class size is smaller than the other schools I listed for highschool. Have you found it to be too small for your son? Is this something he has voiced (perhaps if he started in middle school)?[/quote]

Each grade is small - apx 30-40 kids. I think this makes it harder for kids to develop groups and cliques.  They also have a house system so that kids mix across grades.  My son has friends from all different demographics - Black, Asian, Latino, and white.  He has Catholic friends, AME friends, Jewish friends, Protestant friends and agnostic friends.  They are spread out across the DMV.  It is really hard to tell income levels of the kids, this is not a focus among parents or kids.  Classes are rigorous, and I think there is something on the website about what they are looking for.  Teachers will offer help and support, though.  Hope this helps you - the best thing is to really look at all the schools on your list, do shadow days, etc.  You and your child will start to feel more drawn to some than others and will make your way to just the right spot.[/quote]

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