Reply to How do you cope if you regret having kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]Is the Dad mentally healthy and happy and a good parent?

Does he WANT more than fifty fifty custody?

If so, it's fine if you want to give into that. You are not a bad mom if you let the dad have more custody.

I am a stepmom in a situation where the mom was depressed. My husband did not fight her for custody as his attorney told him that was a waste of time, but over the years she slowly gave up more custody, de facto. Now the boys are with us most of the time and they spend the night with her one night a week and have school pick up to nine pm with her another night a week. I think it's better for the boys, honestly.

I say this as someone who grew up with a mom who got really depressed in high school. She was married to my dad but he was pretty absent due to his job. It really affected my psychology to come home to a mom who was depressed. It manifested in her being irritable and critical of me because I was the available punching bag who was there. I think I would have been better off going to boarding school than being around a depressed mom all the time.[/quote]

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