Reply to Frugal people - how to relax a bit with money

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I agree it's some weird mental hangup. We rationally understand we can afford a lot more without jeopardizing security/the future.

But when I go to a fancy restaurant, I mentally still look at all the entree prices and make value judgements. We love to travel but I'm struggling to make the leap to nicer hotels and business class. I don't even like buying the teenagers $140 sneakers. I do it, because it's the kids and it's important to them, but I am outraged by it and would NEVER by myself $140 sneakers.

What is wrong with me? And yes I grew up working class. DH grew up more middle class and later upper middle class by HS, but his parents are also frugal.

I really do want to make the shift. But I am full of guilt over things I don't "need" that are "wasteful."[/quote]

Interesting. We make a lot more than you and I’ve never spent $140 on sneakers for my now college-aged kids AND I don’t think I’m frugal at all. Maybe I think more of value than frugality. Then again, what’s wasteful to you is not the same to me. [/quote]

it is all about what you value.  My kids knew to not ask for $140 sneakers.  My girls knew they were not getting Lulu or real Uggs until they stopped growing (despite half the kids in 1st/2nd grade being outfitted as such).  Sure we can afford it, but why would you spend on that (unless you have 2-3 more kids in line to wear it as hand-me-downs)?  Once they stopped growing, we were more willing to spend on quality if the kids wanted it---but my kid was happy with Fake Uggs from Costco for many years.

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Maybe your kids are young? You’d be hard pressed to find a kid at our public MS or HS without $100+ sneakers and some Lululemon or Ugg clothing/shoes. For the boys it’s professional sports swag. [/quote]

Most kids in MS/HS have "stopped growing".  It was ES when my kids did not get those things.  Once in MS/HS and they asked for it, they could have them, within reason.  But I'm not spending on real Uggs or Lulu for a kid who will outgrow it in 3-5 months.  Doesn' matter how much I'm worth.  That is a waste of $$$. 
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