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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, I've read all the responses, and thanks to all who have taken the time to answer. I don't have time to respond to all, but I did want to clarify a few things.  We are in PA, where they do testing to see if you should receive a gifted IEP.  They use teacher evaluations and standard IQ tests.  We have 2 children who are in the same program.  It's really become clear the contrast between the two this fall, seeing that our younger one have the exact same classes and teachers, and yet seeing that one is sometimes able to finish homework almost entirely while at school, while the other took 3-5 hours.

Some of this is personality.  Our younger one has always been a bit high-strung / high anxiety, impatient, a planner, a fast thinker, an organizer, always needing to get things done and out of the way, always NEEDING to know the plan, the schedule, for the day, for the week, for the month, and driven by external influences (incentives/consequences/competition).  And our older one is more artistic/creative, a slow/deep thinker, a chronic procrastinator, a perfectionist, easily distracted, and seemingly immune to external influences. Also she receives higher grades overall.

I don't have anything against autism or adhd, and I've done quite a bit of research on both. I can tell you that the diagnostic criteria for both have really changed a LOT in the last 25 years, to include a much broader percentage of the public.  I do think some of this has been financially driven, largely by pharmaceutical companies. I actually wrote a research paper in college about autism (30+ years ago) and I can tell you that the definition for autism even then, was VERY different than what it is today.  And as these definitions change, the DSM criteria changes, it's abundantly clear that this is not really a black and white thing that the medical world fully understands.

And I will also note that the current Dept of Health director has publicly announced that they would be working with NIH to develop a database of those that have been diagnosed with autism so that they can be "studied."  I think there is a significant privacy risk to receiving an autism diagnosis.

So really I'm trying to weigh all of these things to see what approach I should take as my child will be entering HS next year.  And either things will get harder for her, OR once she has freedom to actually choose some of the classes she wants to take, she might actually thrive.  Because when it comes to topics she is really interested in, she really excels.  I simply don't know.[/quote]

Okay but the freedom to take classes she likes is not going to make her brush her hair voluntarily, nor cause her social skills to suddenly catch up. Your daughter needs help. You seem determined to over-think this. I understand the privacy risk, I understand you don't want to put in the time and money for a neuropsych if it isn't really necessary, certainly. But the social skills and hygiene issues are NOT because she's gifted, and it's not something that will be fixed with a different academic schedule.

Lots of people are gifted academically and also have great social skills and hygiene. They just aren't as noticeable, they don't stick out, they actually blend in really well because of their social skills. Maybe that's why you think gifted=ASD symptoms.[/quote]

Oh, amen. You said it better than I did.  What's troubling is not so much the dawdling or extra time it's the grooming deficits and such. Look, my IQ tests at the 99.9 percentile. At MIT I met people who awed me with their genius. Some guys in the big lectures smelled of bo from lack of laundry or showers but nobody didn't comb their hair. And the stinky ones didn't get the best grades, lol. So it wasn't their geniusness.

The most obvious signs she's not just a junior absent minded professor are the lack of toothbrushing (it has consequences and a smart gurl knows that), not brushing hair for days, forgetting to eat (not in touch with body).

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