Reply to SIL plotted to inherit estates from childless aunts

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, ah, how often do you visit these childless aunts, OP? I'm thinking pretty much never?[/quote]

+1[/quote]

The money belongs to your aunts to do with as they wish - whether that’s to spend every red cent, give it away to charity, light it on fire to roast marshmallows (although destroying currency might be illegal?), or even leave to your SIL.  Even if you were their (only) child, they would not be obligated to leave it to you.  As you are not their child, you should have no expectations of inheritance.   Anything they leave you is a bonus.

It would be a different matter if they weren’t independent and mentally competent.  If they were dependent on her for care and she was isolating them from the rest of the family, I’d share your outrage, but you give no evidence of mistreatment.  To the contrary, your post seems to imply that since your primary concern is their money, that any concern from your SIL must be feigned.  With that attitude, it is unsurprising that your aunts chose to leave their money elsewhere.  On the other hand, if you actually care about them as individuals, just be happy that they felt close enough to your SIL to want to leave her money.

In the meantime, their finances are none of your business.  The divorced uncle and other family member were out of line to tell you anything about their will.  If they had felt it was any of your business, they would have told you themselves.  Ironically, I would think that someone who works with attorneys all the time would appreciate the importance of confidentiality.[/quote]

That’s false, you’re projecting. The primary issue seems to be loss of trust in what happened, how it happened and in her brother & SIL.

Everyone was far away and seeing each other over the adult years.

The loss of trust is driven by: “‘ The lack of communication, transparency and omissions. ‘“[/quote]

These are adults making adult decisions.[b] Op should have done more to stay in the loop. [/b]Unless she is alleging elder abuse what is the issue?[/quote]

Like what? [/quote]

Act like the daughter she never had. The beloved niece.[/quote]

How do you suddenly "act like the beloved niece"?  Even I would like examples of that since I too see them at family functions or catch up when on their coast![/quote]

You do what OP's SIL did. Duh. Do you need glasses or something?[/quote]

No one knows what she did or said, hence the post.

We can only assume the SIL pitched herself and the brother's family as the needy one, as the one who cares, as the one with time, as the one aligned with the aunt for whatever reason. There are ways to do this just by pitching yourself positively and there are ways to also do this by painting others in a negative light. Or both. 
Who knows what happened here but I would definitely see my brother, his wife and the married aunts differently after learning about this. So always good to see one's true colors, thank them for that. [/quote]

+1
I don’t like secret deals and secrets. I would hope my adult children and my elderly siblings discuss this sort of thing together, not behind the scenes with one person only. 
But we have a pretty functional and communicative family, so if this happened I would be disappointed in several people, mostly my son for having his wife cut off his sibling this way.  [/quote]

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