Reply to "Because I Have To Visit My Father"

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Reply to ""Because I Have To Visit My Father""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My spouse's father is in assited living in Richmond. He moved in last May. We are in Bethesda.

Every other Sunday since that time, my spouses leaves here around 9am drives to Richmond, visits their father,l often taking him to unch and drives back here, arriving home around 3 or 4.

All of the other Sunday chores -laundry, grocery shopping meal prep for the week, cleaning etc fall on me. We have two dogs, a cat, two kids ages 4 and 7 and it's dawning on me that this isn't really 'fair.' When I brought this up the response was "Because I have to visit my father". Like that obligated me to be a quasi single parent?

I've tried to move the shopping and cleaning to other nights of the week but it just doesn't stick. We both have busy schedules, long commutes, our eldest plays soccer, etc.

We've talked about hiring out the stuff we can but neither of us likes having a stranger in the house and we are both pretty picky about our produce so Insta cart is a non starter.

I guess what bothers me most is their refusal to admit that I'm the one being shafted in this arrangement.

[b]Please give me helpful suggestions.[/b][/quote]

Okay, but just remember: you asked for this.

1) Stop being a whiner. The victimese in your post is pathetic. Fortify yourself and act like an adult with agency, because that's what you are. Nobody's "shafting" you.

2) Get off your high horse about strangers in the house and your precious produce and hire help. Be grateful you can afford this instead of nitpicking a viable solution. You're in your own way, shafting yourself on this front. Stop that.

3) Learn how to operate a family calendar, and stick to it. "it just doesn't stick" is passive. "I didn't stick to it" is more likely, and you need to be responsible for solving your problem and not waiting and whining until someone solves it for you. Get your shit together. If it doesn't fit perfectly the first time, try again until it does.

4) Stop complaining. Truly. Go 30 days without fixing your face to complain. For every time you want to whinge and whine about how "shafted" you feel, flip it. Your spouse gives a fsck about his aging parent, and you admire and respect his compassion and dedication to his family. You can afford to pay someone to do your grocery shopping and housekeeping. Your kid is healthy and able-bodied enough to play a sport. Immediately remove the idea that you're a single parent from your wee little head, because you probably wouldn't last a week, hunty. Instead, you need to get some damned gratitude for your petty little shite problem(s).

5) which is really 4(a) Fsck "fair". Life ain't fair. You've got it SO much better than so many people! Someone would be delighted to have your problems. Lots of someones, in fact. You don't actually want fair, Veruca. You just want what you want when you want it. Get over it.

Buy yourself the help you need, including a therapist if you need help wrapping your head around those suggestions, and STFU.
[/quote]

Everything you just typed could be used to explain away sexual assault and find the perpetrator faultless.
Go F^^k yourself.[/quote]

Huh? Get help you delulu person.  What are you even posting? 
- DP[/quote]

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