Reply to STBX melting down during divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone else experience this? STBX/former DH initiated divorce pretty much out of nowhere in a male menopause midlife crisis sort of moment.

He is a smart and successful man, but I don’t know that he thought much beyond filing, and it turns out that attorneys don’t coach you through that before you hire them- they just file and keep moving you along.

I’m relieved that he filed and gave me some clarity about aspects of his character that I had been doubting.

But he seems to be falling apart and inconvenienced, frustrated, and tantruming about his own choice to divorce. He is making both attorneys mad by not cooperating with things like basic document requests. He doesn’t seem to understand that I’m not responsible for supporting his needs anymore, and he throws a fit whenever there’s a deadline that conflicts with things he’s rather do or his work schedule. He doesn’t want to talk about housing or money and is basically putting his fingers in his ears.

Has anyone else experienced a short-sighted divorce initiator? I can’t believe my STBX was so naive as to not think beyond the impulse to file and consider what life might look like age that, yet somehow he found the energy to actually find an attorney and file. It’s like he was briefly fueled by short-term spite but now there’s nothing left in the tank.

He chose this! What’s his problem?![/quote]

I don’t know, but I think i understand from the contempt that oozes from your post why he is divorcing you. I wish him peace. [/quote]

Should she feel sorry for him? Hold his hand?

You're unbelievable and probably a man child like the one who is trying to divorce OP. [/quote]

There is a middle ground between pity/handholding and the contempt that oozes from the OP.[/quote]
NP.  I think OP sounds very objective in describing an enormously frustrating situation.  And who wouldn’t be contemptuous of the sort of person who files for divorce and then is upset that he has to fulfill all the obligations that come along with divorce proceedings? [/quote]

Nothing about her description was objective at all. It was hall super emotive and intended to paint a belittling caricature. She admits to harboring doubts about his character for some time. She implies she wanted this divorce and is pleased he initiated it.

So, yeah, this isn’t a case of he is a dufus and she is some perfect victim. My guess he is felt her contempt for him radiating from him for years.

I wouldn’t be shocked to learn there hadn’t been sex in ages, either.[/quote]

Dude. OP is getting divorced so none of this matters. She is entitled to feel whatever contempt she wants. [/quote]

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