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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound mean to the kid.  "The kid that is not mine..." who talks about stepkids like that?  You tone in talking about them drips with contempt.  They're a kid, for goodness sake.[/quote]

He’s not my stepchild, so referring him to him on that way wouldn’t make sense.  I was struggling to figure out a way to refer to him, and someone else used that phrasing.

I wish I had given both kids fake names in the OP, but given that so many people don’t read every post, I feel like doing that later doesn’t work.

I don’t feel contempt for him.  I love him, but I acknowledge that I love the kid I raised from birth more, and that makes it challenging because I try to be really careful to be fair.

This is something I don’t think I would hesitate to do if it was my two bio kids.  But I hear people saying it’s different.
[/quote]

You need to think about what is going on in your relationships with your partner, his biological children, and your children that leads you to so emphatically claim this child is not your step child. That will probably tell you why he's feeling the way that he does.[/quote]

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