Reply to Leaving Spouse with Dementia

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your brother is a POS but so you are. You speak only in the perspective of, what does he owe her? He owes her, her vows. He made the decision to marry later in life, this is something that should have been thought about. What comes around goes around. [/quote]

This is OP. I am actually quite upset by it and I'm having a hard time having a relationship with my brother now. He has really abandoned her. He is wealthy and she has both medicare and long term care, so it is not about finances. He is one of those guys who wants to be taken care like a child and doesnt lift a finger. So when she became sick, it is like he turned off a switch that she was no longer going to be there for him. What also shocks me even more is that once she left (she went to a rather depressing facility) he has made every excuse not to visit (too far, nothing to do, can't handle it emotionally) and basically is done with her altogether and roaring to date. So it upsets me to watch this.[/quote]
I have a friend who unfortunately had a very early premie.  Baby was in NICU for a couple of months. She was working FT but went to the hospital everyday to be with her baby.

The husband/father was MIA. He said he couldn't deal with seeing his baby in there.  He decided he was going to travel more for work, became an alcoholic and had an affair while overseas. He told his AP that he was not married nor had any kids.   He also made only a fraction of what she made.

The baby survived but not without serious issues.  He rarely sees his child, and when she had to travel for work, she told him to stay with their child, but that her mom would be there to help.  He said to the mom, "I'm here to help you".   She looked at him and said, "No, you are the child's father. I'm here to help *you*."

He went completely MIA for a year. She had no idea where he was.  He had checked himself into AA but he's still largely MIA in this child's life.   My friend worked FT and took care of her SN child mostly by herself while he wallowed in  self pity.[/quote]

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