Reply to My Parents Are Useless: In-laws Are Great :(

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
You’re messy OP. Stop over sharing with your in-laws.

They probably think their child married into a horrible family anyways.

Also, your parents aren’t obligated to help you with your kids. [/quote]

Americans are so selfish. This is why I didn’t marry one. They feel no obligation to their family and don’t give a crap about their children or grandchildren. Everything is just about themselves. [/quote]

So then why don’t you move to wherever you came from if Americans are so selfish. I’m not MAGA but if you don’t like it here then LEAVE. Problem solved. [/quote]

I'm American and I agree with the PP and think this is one of the things that is just broken about American culture. It is selfish and honestly shallow to care more about self into your old age than you do about your own kids and grandkids, and I also think it contributes to depression and is one of the reason so many older Americans are MAGA -- they've replaced healthy, close relationships with their own families with Fox News. They could be developing close relationships with their kids' kids, something that would keep them young and optimistic, but instead they joined a cult. It's sad.

I remember getting to college and grad school and meeting people who had close, respectful, valued relationships with their parents. Mostly from families of immigrants or where their immigrant culture remained strong even after immigrating to the US (like in many Jewish families, for instance). It was a revelation to me that it was even possible. And now over the last couple decades as we've all married and had kids, and I've been to their weddings and seen how their parents are with their kids, I can say it's also just better. Everyone is happier and more fulfilled. My parents were gleeful when their kids left home, made little to no effort to develop meaningful relationships with us as adults, and are hands off and uninvolved in our kids' lives. They are also depressed, resentful, and and lonely. Meanwhile we are stretched thin as parents and our kids are deprived of having more caring adults in their lives to help give them a sense of community and belonging (which we have recreated elsewhere with friends and neighbors, but it's not the same).

We'd all be happier and more fulfilled if American culture encouraged people to maintain and invest in family ties instead of just pursuing personal pleasure. It's a net negative for everyone involved.[/quote]

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