Reply to 13 year old DD got in trouble at school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your kid sounds like a trouble maker.  Throwing water? Breaking phone usage? Blatant disregard for authority?  You have a big problem.  I'd start by taking the phone, but the problem is deeper than the phone.  I don't know you or your kid, so I can't recommend what will work best, typically I follow consequences related to offense - on this case no phone.  In the case of throwing water in a school restroom- cleaning duty of some sort - I'd choose home because it benefits me, but school would be better.[/quote]
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She said she has ADHD. When my DD was in 8th grade she was assigned ISS for throwing water in science class doing a lab, she was grounded for with no phone or ipad, but sometimes there is nothing we can do about it.   [/quote]

What does ADHD have to do with it?? Kids do not “forget” they aren’t allowed to use their phones in class. [/quote]

Kids with ADHD have poor impulse control that can lead them to make poor choices because it is harder for them respond impulsively. A kid without ADHD might do the same thing, because kids are kids and do things they shouldn't for a variety of reasons, but should have better impulse control making the choice to splash water more of a thought-out action then an impulse. It doesn't mean that a kid without ADHD won't make the same choice but that a kid without ADHD should be able to make a better choice.

So the kid might very well remember that they are not supposed to be on the phone and then be thinking about Taylor Swift getting engaged and that triggers a thought which leads to checking the phone because she has to follow up on that thought right now and now she broke the rule that she forgot about because her brain was chasing a thought. I am not saying that is the case here, just providing an example. I call it squirrel brain, my Mom bought me a squirrel charm for a necklace as an adult. It made me laugh but my squirrel moments where a new thought enters my head, I forget what I was doing, and I really fixate on the new thought are very real.

OP, maybe suggest that your daughter have a lockable pouch so that she can't access the phone or find something that the phone goes in with a label "Do not use in school" to help her remember.

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You’re describing OCD, ops kid has ADHD.[/quote]

Sounds exactly like ADHD to me.[/quote]

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