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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this is a huge gut punch, but practically speaking, your resolution options are the same as they were yesterday. Some people file first to get a court date and encourage a swift settlement, but they still negotiate and/or mediate, and never go to trial.

Even if you are approaching your trial date (which is probably January or February), continuances are common and customary.

Don’t feel pressured to give up something you don’t want to just because the clock is ticking.[/quote]

Yes you are right. But by going to filing he is putting us straight into discussing things like custody via the court system. I think he is naive about the fire he’s thrown us both into. I certainly am not and can see that this is going to be a very difficult few months. Our child just started a new school, settled into new sports team after tryouts, and has made new friends on the neighborhood.

If DH had paused for 30 seconds and used his brain we could have at least negotiated with mediators toward something that gave our child a full school year without disruption, and it still would have achieved the same end result he desires. I don’t give a crap about me at this point, but to disregard our kid in the process is next level awfulness.[/quote]

OP take a breath. Just because he filed does not mean you cannot use mediation. In fact most family courts will order you to mediation. This does not mean you are going to a trial.

It does mean that he is dictating the pace and has taken the opening move. But you will get your own lawyer to get up to speed.

In many ways, filing in court can be beneficial because it gets everyone focused on resolution. Unless you have reason to believe he is going to be unreasonable and force a trial, all this means is that he is serious about getting divorced and wants it to happen. [/quote]

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