Reply to 19yo DD failed her freshman year and now is at home refusing to work or go to school

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Reply to "19yo DD failed her freshman year and now is at home refusing to work or go to school "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am in recovery OP.

Your daughter is self-medicating. You have to understand that if her ADHD is not being meaningfully treated, she is operating at a massive dopamine deficit. You know what alcohol does? Dumps massive amounts of dopamine activity in the brain -- she probably feels great because she is drinking.

The dirty trick is that it is a losing situation. She will produce less and then need to drink more to feel well and the cycle is off to the races.

Her behavior is probably linked to this cycle, fwiw. She feels like hell.

But that doesn't excuse the behavior. It gives it context. So, considering this, she really needs help. She needs to get sober safely (like detox), she needs psychiatric support for her ADHD, she needs counseling, and she needs something that she probably lacks...hope. I would be money she feels utterly hopeless and the guy and the booze are probably the main things making her life not utter hell at the moment.

My suggestion is to not enable. Drop the money and funding. This stuff isn't free. Cell phones aren't either. And if she wants those things, she needs to agree to work on her health. That includes medication to stop drinking, therapy, out patient treatment or in patient treatment, etc.

Your other kids are watching how you move here. You need to be calm, strong, and not engage. It is what it is. She failed out of school. Her boyfriend is a dirt bag. She drinks too much. So, now what? [/quote]

This is great advice OP. [/quote]

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