Reply to 19yo DD failed her freshman year and now is at home refusing to work or go to school

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[quote=Anonymous]OP - Your DD needs a full mental health evaluation by a psychiatrist who works with 
those with alcohol abuse issues.  Using alcohol will be very dangerous with some meds she may need to take as seems like she may have
a couple of things going on.   A partial day program sounds like a possible option to help her medically and give a structure to her day.

Her  health needs to be dealt with before giving her more chances to fail.  I would also agree she needs a form of birth control that will work given her lifestyle and another pill to take may not be the answer at this point

The bigger issue is the impact she has also had on her two younger teens.  I know as we have three adult daughters who were impacted by the MH issues of the oldest who developed in college.  You need to set house rules as mentioned of respect for all  and simple tasks at this point in the house.

No coming home drunk needs to be a base line.  Also no car use as you can’t really tell what she might be on at this point.  Owner of ghe car is liable.  Uber would be the way to go for specific purposes until she is stable or the bus etc.

You and DH need some counseling on how to set limits and support her.  And to both be on the same page.  I have seen a program in your area called TheDorm if you look in Google that might be a starting point to other resources if it is not appropriate. I would say a part-time job before more course work once she was able to be civil at home snd not drunk — if she still was not ready to see medical folks.  Less pressure to start on medication snd therapy then classes with grades once again.  That can come in time.  Our daughter found she coukd sell fine jewelry at a local department store.
Got diagnosed and in therapy snd then started a couple of courses.  She was home 9 months and grades were not the issue so not quite as difficult.  You set limits with professional help as needed because you have the other girls, especially the 13 year old who can’t get out in a year or do of the chaos.  No one would
ask for this.

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