Reply to 19yo DD failed her freshman year and now is at home refusing to work or go to school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]19 year old DD is now at home acting complete different and wanting to do nothing after she failed her freshman year. DD got diagnosed with ADHD in 10th grade after her grades suddenly slipped significantly and she wasn’t getting her usual A’s. The rest of high school, we tried medication and some therapy for a while, but got her off the medication because she had some bad side effects. So, we mainly had to sit with her to make sure she did her homework, turned it in, and studied for tests which helped. End of senior year, we put DD back on another medication that we thought would help her do well this year, because now that she had to be away for college she needed to manage her school work in her own. We weren’t able to monitor her anymore. We didn’t have access to her grades, so all we knew was what she told us.

She had a great year socially and made many friends, but she has developed a drinking habit. DD came back home in May and started a part-time job for the summer, which has now concluded. She’s currently dating a guy she went to high school with and is a commuter to our local university and now that she is home and without a job, she spends most of the time over at his. DD wants a good future for herself but I’m not aware how she expects that to happen right now. DD doesn’t want to take her medication, refuses to get a new job, and she doesn’t want to do any community college classes to continue her education because she tends to be very perfectionist and was very upset about failing so she believes since she failed out it isn’t worth continuing because she wanted a full 4 year university education. When she is at home, she doesn’t cleans up after herself and does nothing but sleep in and be on her phone.

A lot of times DD comes home really drunk after being at her boyfriends, and she’s a mean drunk, so she gets super disrespectful and calls DH and I names. We have two other teenage DDs ages 17 and 13 and we are afraid she’s setting them a bad example by her behaving like this. We have no issue wi to her living with us as long as she is respectful and is working or in school but right now that isn’t happening so we are not sure where to begin or what to do. Any advice would be extremely helpful.[/quote]

Birth control and therapy, stat [/quote]

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