Reply to RED FLAGS of CHILD PREDATORS

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Great idea from another forum. Thank you! Please share any possible red flags and grooming tricks used by child predators. Grooming techniques are commonly used on parents and children, plus any other adults around.

Sometimes a predator will do something highly inappropriate to his own child in front of another potential victim child, just to make it appear perfectly normal.

I think sometimes children might freeze up, not knowing for sure how to respond. Depending on your own child, maybe it’s helpful to role model saying “Get away from me!”

I do know when a child doesn’t feel like giving anyone (like a visiting relative) a hug, it’s important to always support that decision no matter the situation.

When children are play fighting and one says “stop!”, I always make sure that demand is instantly obeyed. Absolutely no reasons are expected. No means no. Period.

Our children deserve basic safety. It’s not really their job to fend for themselves. It’s our job to stay vigilant. No classroom, daycare, play date, sport, sleepover, trip, or drive is worth risking our child’s basic safety. If you don’t feel 110% confident in accessing someone, always ask around before you ever entrust them to be responsible for your child.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a teacher, coach, tutor, neighbor, relative, friend’s parent, sitter, minister, priest, rabbi or party entertainer. No one should get alone time or easy access opportunities with your child without your careful, continued scrutiny.

[/quote]

We had a serial predator teacher in high school. He used common grooming tactics: He'd always befriend the parents first. That way they'd be like "oh we trust him, he would never" and then he'd pick one girl out freshman year - the pretty but insecure one - and start befriedning her, getting her to confide in him. When she'd turn 18 senior year, he'd start a sexual reltationship. He was known as the teacher you'd go to to confide in and he'd tape up the windowns to the classroom while he had a "chat" with students. When he was arrested, students parents and teachers all defended him. he once slipped his finger down my buttcrack (in front of 3 other students), once pecked my friend on the lips after she went to confide in him, and another friend he'd always pull out of classes to give her extra help, which she never asked for, adn teachers would let him. So, needless to say, I did not defend him.

I guess I'd say look for subtle boundary pushing. Always Keep professional boundaries. But with my dcs I always went with the balance of teaching them what to look out for, without making them paranoid, and letting them do nromal kid things. The kids who are highly shielded are often the most vulnerable. They have to slowly learn to deal with situations on their own.[/quote]

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