Reply to Advice on Two River PCS

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We’ve come to the (somewhat sobering) realization that the best environment for our kids is one with a very narrow range of academic abilities, minimal exposure to trauma, and [b]few—if any—single-parent households[/b]. For us, that also means avoiding situations where teachers and classmates are frequently managing unresolved behavioral or social-emotional challenges, including some of the more difficult or disruptive neurodivergences.

I fully respect that the public system must educate and support every child, and I believe in that mission. But we also had to be honest about what works best for our own children’s learning and well-being. For us, that meant finding a school where those kinds of distractions are almost nonexistent, so the focus stays on rigorous academics and a calm, orderly classroom environment.[/quote]

YIKES[/quote]

I am unclear why the [b]PP's preference for two-parent households is any more "yikes"[/b] than their preference for kids who are neurotypical, have not been exposed to trauma, and who have are mostly at or above grade level academically.

And I'm not judging. I totally get where this person is coming from and there are days when I feel this way too. The thing for me is that I grew up with a lot of trauma and definitely had unresolved social emotional issues as a kid, and maybe neurodivergence as well. So I'm never going to to choose my kids school to avoid people like that, because that's me -- I will never not have a place in my heart for those kids even as I'm raising my kid to not have to BE one of those kids. But I also understand why other parents seek to avoid kids like this, even as it breaks my heart because it makes me think about how often I was rejected by other family's growing up and didn't really even understand why. I didn't know that I was problematic because it was all I knew. I didn't get that until I was adult and then retrospectively understood why sometimes I never got invited back to a classmates house, or why I was excluded from certain communities.

But the idea that wanting to avoid kids from single-parent households is over the line, but wanting to avoid kids with other kinds of problems is understandable ignores the fact that no kid chooses any of that. It just happens to you. You're a child. [/quote]

Because it's racist and classist. They don't mean ANY single parents, they mean poor black ones. [/quote]

But as a parent — and a Black parent — that label is almost beside the point when you’re making decisions for your own children. [b]Many of us who are Black are more vulnerable in situations where there’s a high concentration of at-risk Black children in the building. In those settings, a school’s expectations, policies, and focus can be hard to disentangle from the race of the child. [/b]Put your Black kids in that environment and you can get all sorts of toxic, complicated dynamics: Where do they “fit”? How are they treated? And let’s be honest — in some schools, a high-performing Black child is so rare it’s treated like a unicorn, and not always in a good way.

[/quote]

This right here. The people who scream "RACISM" are rarely high performing black families. Mostly white folks trying to burnish their liberal credentials. And the usual suspects of black folks who seem to deify or excuse bad behavior as being "blackness". Same people who are more concerned about incarcerated young black men than the law abiding young black men who are victimized.

The irony of it all is that for those of us who started at TR, the UMC and high performing black families were the canary in the coal mine. They peeled off in 1st, 2nd and 3rd long before white families realized there was a problem.  [/quote]

Yes - black families of means and options probably feel the stakes are too great to wait around; white families, while hardly satisfied, might (correctly) reason that they can sufficiently mitigate/navigate at least until middle school. And by “white families,” I mean “DC whites families,” who are unique in risk tolerance vs upper NW and suburban white folks. [/quote]

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