Reply to Elder attorney told family that memory care is a scam

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

As far as I know, nursing homes require medical needs and will not take someone who is at a certain level of dementia because they are liable if something goes wrong. Four need to use Medicaid, find a memory care place that will eventually take Medicaid.

For everyone saying that you will kill yourself when this happens, you still need to figure out long term care. One of the most common signs in early dementia (when you could still have the capacity to make a decision to end your life) is denial. Secondly, having been through this with my mother, who always insisted that I should just shoot her etc, the person she is now is not who she was, but she still is a person. She recognizes me, enjoys an ice cream sundae, occasionally dances to the oldies with her walker, snuggles with my dog when we come visit. She is also mostly incontinent, unable to remember her personal history, use a phone or focus on anything like reading, despite being someone who is highly educated and taught college history, spoke Italian French Spanish and read Latin and Greek. She is not who she was but she is a person who still feels things. I know when we get to the point I where she can’t speak or walk ill wish her suffering to end but even if she hadn’t capacity to make a decision about ending her life now, I don’t think she would.

Finally, memory care can be a horrible warehouse but it doesn’t have to be. We went from disappointing corporate chain that was part of larger facility to a small intimate non profit where all they do is memory care and my moms baseline has actually improved—she is calmer, more content and well cared for.

Where did you find a non profit that does this? My father has no savings and is in earlier stages of dementia. Some days are bad and he wonders off from our home. He lives with us and has started being pretty mean to my autistic son so we want to get him out. I am scared of taking on this financial obligation, so would love to find a non profit.
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Pp here. I should clarify that in this case I prefer the no. Profit because I think they put more back into staffing and training. It is actually more expensive than the for profit my mom was at before but much better. We pay about 11k/month and they do not accept Medicaid so although it may be no profit it still costs us dearly. However my experience is that the. Corporate chains keep getting new management, buy outs etc. we were at one place (assisted living for most of it and memory care for a bit) and from July 22-April 25 they had three executive directors, about 6 memory care directors and any number of other shifts. Another place we had been eyeing because it is so close to us has changed corporate ownership 3x in as many years each change of ownership is an entirely neenste of staff, procedures, financials etc. [/quote]

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