Reply to fighting w/SO--is this normal or ok?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sample size is 3 (my marriage, my parents and my in-laws). None of us swear at each other or raise voices. All of us get annoyed at our spouses and have arguments. Never involves a temper, yelling, names, meanness. Never. [/quote]

I’m going to chime in that I know families like this. In my limited experience, many of those same families that ‘never raise voices at each other, ever!!’ do other even more messed up things to each other. The DH has a long term AP, the DW has secretly re mortgaged the house for her gambling addiction, the grandfather abused the grandkids.

Every family has its tales. I think being mad and feeling anger and expressing it is fairly normal behavior. [/quote]

Oh ok.  So SA is ok as long as it wasn't r*pe or inc@st.  Do you even hear yourself?  You can have conflict in a normal and healthy way without resorting to namecalling and hiding massive abusive.  I feel sorry for your partner, you are definitely in need of massive long term therapy.[/quote]

Reading comprehension? The point was that those things, including SA, are obviously far more harmful than someone getting really frustrated during an argument and saying, ‘well f you, Bob! You’re an ass!’

No need ‘to feel sorry’ for anyone. Everyone is different. If my partner told me to F off when we were in an argument, I’d consider the context and I wouldn’t feel the need to run to a therapist and say I’ve been ‘abused’. Please. Some of you are so fragile. You think this makes you strong, but it actually shows how weak you are. [/quote]
More like it shows how incapable you are of dealing with conflict. [/quote]

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