Reply to Custody and verbal/emotional abuse of kids?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Custody and verbal/emotional abuse of kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The best advice I got from lawyer was a strategy that allowed xDH to save face re custody.  He could not / would not ever say he didn't want 50/50 but he didn't want it (the impact on his career, the responsibility, all of it).  So he had to basically be handed a cover story that made it sound like he would be a super involved dad but with a flexible schedule for his "VERY IMPORTANT JOB" that in reality resulted in me having the large majority of custody.  The catch is you can't get child support that undermines the facade of equal involvement [/quote]

This.  This is the secret to how I ended up with full physical custody.  I offered 50/50 and then made it very easy for DH to cancel -- never complained, just took the kids.  I did every doctor's appointment, day off school, etc.  He travelled for work a few times a year for 2-6 weeks.  I'm sure he told himself and other people that he travelled too much for work to have custody of the kids.

I never told him he was a bad dad for not spending time with his kids. As long as he looked good in front of others, that's all he cared about.

All those people who say you "can't get child support" are wrong.  My DH earned more than me, so I got child support that reflected a 50/50 split in time with a difference in incomes.  I chose not to go to court to show legalize the de facto full custody and did not ask for commensurate increase in CS.  That would have pissed him off. [/quote]

Ok but Child support is determined by state, and the calculations depend on that states laws. Do you happen to live in NY? [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics