Reply to She’s not allowed to just keep popping in and out of our lives

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are strange. And you sound very demanding. What’s wrong with the grandma that the kids see on holidays and birthdays? Are you pissed off that she doesn’t babysit enough? That’s not her obligation. Get over it and except what she will give.[/quote]

That's exactly what it is op feels entitled to her mom's time as if she were still a child.

According to op her mom should not travel l, should not spend time with friends, shouldn't do anything else but liver her life entirely revolving around her [/quote]
I don’t care what she does, [b]but then she can’t complain that she has been ignored. THAT is the issue[/b]. [/quote]

That is actually not what OP said was the issue.[/quote]
OP here and yes, this is exactly the issue.

We invite her to things (NOT babysitting, as others have suggested; things like Sunday dinner, for a BBQ, etc.) and she declines or cancels, but she expects to be the main character at every holiday, and when she comes, she complains about how we “avoid” her, when it’s HER avoiding US. My post is being misconstrued. It’s unfair that she comes and goes into our life however she pleases, and then blames us for it![/quote]

Showing up at holidays in your house and publicly shaming you (right or not) is NOT OK for a guest to do - even a Grandma.  That is the core issue that needs to be addressed.  She can enjoy the party and please save her criticisms for later and you are happy to address them.  I would publicly say to please call/email the next day and we can address her grievances at that time.  I would shame her for publicly shaming me, if I was in that situation.  [/quote]

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