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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ll also give my perspective (I’m the PP whose husband also is C suite for a start up and makes $500k, obviously we don’t have the financial benefits of his working for a billion dollar company like your friend but I’ll give my perspective.)

I left my job when I was pregnant with my first born. I didn’t have much of a choice due to my husband’s travel schedule and was happy to do it. In the younger years it benefitted the family immensely, we have an incredible community of friends and I was involved in a lot more than I could be if I worked full time. This was impactful as we aren’t from the area in a very tight knit community so didn’t have the connections many do. Kids are thriving.

Now the bad- most men in these kind of leadership positions often really prioritize work and aren’t the best husbands. My husband loves me (or at least he says he does) and he is a wonderful and involved father but I certainly come last behind job and fatherhood. He just doesn’t have the bandwidth and our marriage feels lonely and kind of sad to me. He leaves a lot for me to deal with because of how demanding his job is and doesn’t follow through on many things he promises to take care of. I handle 99 percent of the mental load. Last few years since my kids are out of pre-K has been insanely rough on my mental health. I do all the things people suggest like volunteer, etc. But I am mentally
bored out of my mind and looking for an outlet for this. As I said I worked for a top company 10 years ago but I’m not exactly a top recruit now. lol! And I know that. I have a small business but I really am sooooo depressed and hopeless I struggle with staying motivated. That’s just the reality of my situation. I’m trying to come up with a plan, maybe she needs your love and support more than you realize. [/quote]

OP here. This is very true to what I see. She has come second to his job forever. And yes to everyone who is saying it, he will find a much younger wife and will marry and have an amazing life and I think she is okay with that. I just want to make sure she’s making the right decision and also want to support her as she walks through this. [/quote]

It's not certain or even probable that he will have an "amazing life with his second much younger wife."  What are you talking about? Men might rush into second marriages faster than women do, but those second marriages are not necessarily happier than the first one. Additionally, these men are not necessarily happier than the women who left them just because they remarried and the women did not.

DIvorce sucks for everyone involved- him, her, the children, the extended family etc. I mean, if she has to leave, she has to leave. But her ( and yours too) assessment of the situation and the consequences is bizarre.

Advise her to seek a counselor/therapist. You don't seem to be able to provide any objective, helpful advice to her in this regard.

Let her cry on your shoulder, tell her you will always be there for her, no matter what she chooses to do. And then stay queit about the rest of it.[/quote]

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