Reply to Fair way to address housing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I totally understand your position, but from his position, [b]if he moves in with you, then he is essentially paying rent that helps you build equity in your home.  That isn't fair to him[/b].[/quote]

I don’t agree with this.  If OP is paying the mortgage currently and continues to pay the mortgage, the amount her fiancé is paying towards rent now can go into a joint account to pay for the wedding or towards a saving account for a down payment for a bigger home that they can look for after they are married.  They can also figure out if it makes sense to rent OP’s current home once they but a new home post marriage.  One of my biggest financial regrets is that I didn’t keep my townhome and rent it out like my parents advised me.  Yes, being a landlord would have been work but the appreciation in value would have covered the cost of my kid’s college or been an amazing boost to retirement savings.

If they end up not getting married, the amount in the joint savings should cover any financial obligations for wedding costs and some can be used for the ex-fiancé to put a down payment on their own place.[/quote]

She says she owns the house outright. So his issue, to the extent he has a legitimate one, would be that [b]“but for me moving into your house, I would have been putting my housing money into my own home and building equity.” [/b]I think the answer to that is some kind of agreement where he gets a share of the equity based on his contributions to the housing costs. This is how the law in an equitable division state would handle in in a divorce, so you could try to replicate it if you are not married.

But based on this guy’s dumb idea that he is going to make her sell the house and then they will buy a worse house together, it really sounds like he is trying to get title over her assets that she built before meeting him. Yuck. [/quote]

I get that’s, but that would be an issue in any relationship where the other person already owns property and you are thinking about getting married.  I would say, first if he truly has the money to buy his own property, why hasn’t he done it yet on his own? People typically date for 1-3 years before getting engaged and another 1-2 years for the wedding - you shouldn’t  put off getting a house till year 5 if you want to build home equity because you might be getting married someday or feel pressured into purchasing with someone you aren’t married to.  If he has enough to buy now, make a smart choice on something that could be rented out later if needed.  If he really doesn’t have enough to buy on his own, which is honestly what it sounds like, and really needs combined purchasing power, he can use what he is saving by moving in with OP to build a bigger down payment amount either for his own property or the post wedding home.[/quote]

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