Reply to Do I really get nothing?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Do I really get nothing?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am consulting divorce attorneys regarding my impeding divorce from my soon to be ex husband of 11 years. Here are our stats:
Late thirties
My income: 125k
His income: varies since he is self employed for the past 5 years. Some years he has made 300k, the past 2 years he has made 120k-60k, this year he has made 15k so far? He also works part time at a local music store teaching music making $20/hr

We do not have any kids or property as we rent. I have a small 401k of 250k and he has no retirement savings.

I would like to file due to him wasting my time and refusing to grow up and breaking all his vows; serial cheating and alcoholism, gaslighting, refusing to obtain steady employment and work on shared goals.

I am devastated and furious, I thought he could at least pay me to freeze my eggs or I can get some alimony to rebuild my life.

I have met with 3 attorneys and they all recommend a noncontentious divorce that is cheap and quick as we have nothing to fight over and for me to tell him we each walk away with what we have.

I want to make him pay!! But apparently I can't?? :( 
[/quote]

I'm so sorry you've had this experience. The best thing for you to do is use whatever influence you still have over him - womanly wiles, as they say - to get him to agree to an uncontested divorce in which you both walk away unencumbered to the other. That is, get him to relinquish any claim to your retirement etc. Depending on your jurisdiction that may not require a knowing waiver - you just get a lawyer to draft the paperwork and present it to him with the request that he look it over, sign it and you both move on. It's his responsibility to get a lawyer to review the dissolution agreement and it sounds like he might be too lazy to do that.

My best advice to you, if you plan to date and look for another committed relationship - you need to have a shorter fuse for ending things when you're being mistreated in so many ways that violate vows and the spirit of marriage. Get into therapy to figure out why you gave this man 11 years of your life, and maybe you might find that moving forward and having a child on your own is the better path than trying to find a solid life partner before having kids. A large majority of men end up sucking in the parenting and life partnering departments anyway once their seduction masks fall aside, and many women find life is much easier as single mothers rather than as single mothers with a grown adult in the house who also demands their care and provides little in return but reasons for resentment.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics